Archives: March2010

• Living in the moment….

  Rarely do I know what I am going to write about when I sit down.    It just sort of takes on a life of its own after I start writing.
  I’ve been having some pain in my left hip and thigh.  Typical for me, I ignore until it really starts to bother me.  Once I recognized it was there, I immediately thought “what if the cancer has metastized to my bones?”  For the past couple of months, actually since December when [...]

• A full day of tears

  Tuesday, March 30th, 2010
  Healing from my mastectomy(ies) was a long process.  I felt fortunate, however to have the opportunity to “live” with my mom again at this stage in our lives.  She took care of me, my animals…not to mention my house hadn’t been that clean in probably 7 years! lol
  I had a visiting nurse twice a week for the first couple weeks, then once a week for another 5-6 weeks.   When I had my lumpectomy a couple months before, [...]

• Creativity… a blessing or a curse?

  Friday, March 26th
  I have two magazine articles due by the middle of next week.  I have been in my creative mode, which means… I do not take the time to do the dishes, laundry, make my bed, or vacuum!  I have three cats, and one australian shepherd, let me tell you, we’re talking major tumbleweeds of fur!
  I looked around at my painting desk, my computer desk, and in my classroom.  I have three or four different projects going, plus a [...]

• Changes within me

  Thurs, March 25th 6:30am
  I’m usually up at this time long enough to let the dog out, take my morning meds, feed the cats, let the dog in, and then back in bed for a few more hours….  One of the important (to me) perks of self employment.  This morning, however, I am heading to Boston to meet with my plastic surgeon, preop appointment, and some tests.
  I am changing.  There are obvious changes in my body, but more important, inside, at [...]

• Awakening..post mastectomy(ies)

  When I awoke I remember the heaviness on my chest.  It wasn’t at all what I had expected.  I guess I expected sharp pains, but it wasn’t… it was intense pressure on my chest.  I remember asking the nurse to please remove the elephant that was sitting on it.
  My girlfriend was there, ever so nurturing, I was safe, I made it… The cancer was gone, the 60% risk of each cancer returning and 60% of getting a new primary cancer [...]

• Inspiration

  Wed, March 24th
  My eyes are working overtime at all the beautiful things I want to paint.  The perfect clump of birch trees, the melting ice on the ponds, a fallen down tree covered in the most beautiful green colored mosses…  Clouds that take on the shape of horses, dogs and frogs.   Deep breath… I LOVE it when my creativity is flowing.  I am alive, I am well, I am a participant in the world, and in my own world.
  All chaos, [...]

• Art through the eyes of a child

  I am recooperating from the festival at JBWoods.  Was a lot of fun, wonderful to see so many painting friends…
  Sunday I went to visit my 6 year old niece.  I need my “fix” with her once a week.  This little girl makes my soul dance.  I just enjoy her so much.  When I arrived she had two friends over.  She came running over to me, wanted me to pick her up….. “You guys, this is my auntie… she brings me [...]

• Having a choice of implant size!

  After committing to my breast oncology surgeon to do the double mastectomy with reconstruction, my thoughts ran rampant.  I felt like a 14 year old teenage boy who was fixated on breasts… Shapes, sizes….  It was such a preoccupation.   Upon first meeting with my plastic surgeon, the nurse rolled in a cart full of implants… saline, silicone.  One was so big that my girlfriend and I were playing with it, i mean… holy crap, right?  I put it on my [...]

• match dot com anyone?

  Wed March 17th,
  I’ve been cramming to get 7 or 8 new designs out for JBWood’s Festival this weekend, popping airborne which has surprisingly warned off whatever this bug is that what’s “in”… until today.   Aches and pains, exhaustion have hit.. but still… the festival will happen, and I have bills to pay! So I’m going to take everything slowly today, work for an hour or two and then rest… okay, so I probably won’t sleep, I’ll watch the [...]

• The diagnosis…

  Tuesday, March 16th,
  Where does the time go?  In less than a month, its tax day.  Ugh.  So much to do, so little time…
  The sun is shining brightly here today.  There are patches of snow and ice remaining, but mostly what is visible to the eye is brown grass… earth…. alas… Spring is coming, it really is coming.
  It was almost a year ago now that I had my routine mammogram… then more imagines required….then biopsy…. and the words “There is something [...]